Even in the most amicable divorces, the divorce process is not easy and it is normal to feel overwhelmed with emotions when the divorce is over. You may feel grief and relief at the same time, as well as periods when you vacillate between self-doubt and confidence that you made the right decision. Feeling and expressing these feelings is normal and healthy, but sometimes people get stuck in their grief and cannot process it in a healthy way. If you have recently gotten divorced or are considering divorce in Illinois, here are some tips to help you recover from the grieving period. 

What is Divorce Grief? 

People are often ashamed to admit how much grief they feel after a divorce, especially if they initiated the divorce proceedings. But divorce is a tremendous loss in many ways - your identity, your relationship with your children, your community, and even your friends may be lost or dramatically changed. And, of course, your spouse is no longer part of the picture, making the future uncertain. Grief is a natural process that allows us to work through our feelings of loss and move forward into the next stage of our lives, ideally with some room in our hearts for new experiences. 

Tips For Managing Divorce Grief

While grief is a painful experience, it is essential for grappling with loss. It is important not to avoid grief or self-medicate in the hopes that the grief will eventually go away. When you are in the middle of acute grief and need some help managing your feelings, experts have made the following suggestions: 

When Bill and Melinda Gates announced their intention to divorce, many people who hardly knew a thing about the couple besides their tremendous technological and philanthropic achievements were stunned. Despite the well-known statistics, people simply do not expect couples who are married for so long to get divorced. But many couples do divorce after spending two, three, and even four decades together. Experts say that changing social norms around why people stay in marriages and what reasons are acceptable for getting divorced have contributed to higher rates of divorce later in life. Here are five of the most common reasons couples get divorced after long-term marriages in Illinois. 

Money

Many couples fight constantly about money. Because behaviors around money usually have more to do with innate character traits, conflicts around money are not easily resolved and tend to continue over time. When a couple has been married for decades, retires, and has the financial stability to separate from their partner, they may find that disagreements over money are simply too stressful to overcome any longer. 

Infidelity

In the past, infidelity - especially on the part of men - was often seen as inevitable. Now, however, partners are much less willing to tolerate cheating and see it as grounds for divorce. Many partners are willing to gamble on spending the remainder of their life unpartnered rather than stay in a relationship in which they feel lonely and disrespected. 

Once you know you are going to get divorced, planning for the future is only natural. Scheduling activities with your kids, deciding how to divide your personal belongings, and finding a new residence can all begin happening well before an Illinois divorce is finalized. But what happens if one parent moves out of the marital home and does not want to rent? Is it possible to purchase a home before a divorce is finalized so you can make the transition to life after divorce as easy as possible? Read on to find out. 

Is it Legal to Buy a New House Before Divorce? 

There is no law against buying a second home under your own name while you are still married. However, there are several reasons why doing so may not be a good idea. These include, but are not limited to: 

• Dissipation claims - Using marital funds for reasons that do not benefit the marriage can expose you to asset dissipation claims. Even if such a claim is untrue, it can be expensive and time-consuming to argue that you did not dissipate marital assets when buying your home. 

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Most people choose a person to marry in the belief that they will remain partners for life. But as we grow, we realize things about ourselves we did not know when we got married, which can make someone who was a good fit when we were younger far less of a good fit as time goes on. In addition, people and circumstances change, and many married people somewhat unexpectedly find themselves in another, much happier relationship before their Illinois divorce is finalized or even initiated. 

While only you can decide the right course for your life, both in terms of whether seeking a new partner or a divorce is right for you, it is important to know that having a new partner can potentially impact the divorce process. If you are anticipating divorce and already have a new partner, read on to learn three things you should be aware of. 

You May Not Receive Alimony

Alimony, known in Illinois as “spousal maintenance,” is only available to divorced spouses who need time to get on their feet financially after the marriage ends. If a divorcee moves in with a new partner right away, alimony payments are terminated or may never even be a possibility. 

One of the hardest parts of getting divorced in Illinois is dividing marital property. Because Illinois divorce law requires marital assets to be divided fairly, rather than equally, there can be some question about what a fair division looks like. This is especially true when one or both spouses are high earners and share a high net worth. To avoid heavy financial losses in a divorce, some spouses try to hide assets to protect them from division. 

There are many ways to hide assets and, once hidden, they can be very difficult to track down. In addition to hiding assets, spouses may also try to lay claim to private property by saying it is marital property. If you are getting divorced and are concerned that your spouse is hiding or manipulating assets, get help from an experienced divorce attorney who can recommend financial professionals who may be able to help. 

How Does Asset Tracing Work? 

When a spouse hides money or valuables, they usually leave a trail of some kind, whether electronically, on paper, or by verbal agreement. In this case, a financial professional such as an asset tracer may be helpful. Asset tracing is a process in which the history of an asset is explored and documented so the asset can be located and its value properly assigned.