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Five Common Reasons Long-Term Marriages Dissolve 

Posted on in Divorce

arlington heights divorce lawyerWhen Bill and Melinda Gates announced their intention to divorce, many people who hardly knew a thing about the couple besides their tremendous technological and philanthropic achievements were stunned. Despite the well-known statistics, people simply do not expect couples who are married for so long to get divorced. But many couples do divorce after spending two, three, and even four decades together. Experts say that changing social norms around why people stay in marriages and what reasons are acceptable for getting divorced have contributed to higher rates of divorce later in life. Here are five of the most common reasons couples get divorced after long-term marriages in Illinois. 


Many couples fight constantly about money. Because behaviors around money usually have more to do with innate character traits, conflicts around money are not easily resolved and tend to continue over time. When a couple has been married for decades, retires, and has the financial stability to separate from their partner, they may find that disagreements over money are simply too stressful to overcome any longer. 


In the past, infidelity - especially on the part of men - was often seen as inevitable. Now, however, partners are much less willing to tolerate cheating and see it as grounds for divorce. Many partners are willing to gamble on spending the remainder of their life unpartnered rather than stay in a relationship in which they feel lonely and disrespected. 

Communication Problems

After decades of dealing with each other’s criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness, many couples simply decide to stop putting up with it and file for divorce. Although some couples can recover from years of hostility, many find that the damage has already been done and separation is in order. 

Grown Children

The process of raising children often binds otherwise incompatible people together while the children are under 18 and still living in the home. But once the children go off to school, couples may discover they have very little in common and nothing to talk about. The prospect of spending another 30 years with someone in the face of never-ending boredom can be the death knell for a relationship, even when partners otherwise have positive feelings for each other. 

Unwillingness to Pursue Individual Growth

When one partner is committed to pursuing new passions, seeking individual therapy for past issues, and trying to improve his or her character, it can cause a cleavage between themselves and a partner who is content to leave things the way they are. When one partner has a growth mindset and the other does not, even when both partners are perfectly happy with their situation, the difference in personal ambition can trigger divorce.  

Meet with an Arlington Heights Divorce Lawyer

Whatever your reason for seeking a divorce, the team of knowledgeable Arlington Heights divorce attorneys with A. Traub & Associates can help you initiate the divorce process and guide you every step of the way. Put your trust in our many years of combined experience and call us today at 847-749-4182 to schedule your confidential consultation. 




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